Selasa, Januari 11

I Dump You, You are Fat.

So apart from writing for Terfaktab, I also have a penchant for lurking at forums, namely love forums. I’ve been doing that ever since I’m in my student years (so I guess AlexiaAqram choosing me as a writer in Terfaktab was right after all—I got lot of ‘experience’ hahaha!)  So yesterday I went back to one of my favourite websites to check out new trending (ye, relationship pun ada trending ye kawan2). One of the older  topic was how to dump a guy.

“Please guys, how do I dump this guy because he’s overweight?” the title says.

ok..uh? .WHAT DID SHE SAY?

“...We chatted for a while and he seemed like a nice guy. He showed me a picture (face only), but he didn't look overweight in it. When I met him in person, he was too overweight for me and I was turned off.
How can I dump him without hurting his feelings? Should I tell him it was because he is overweight?”
(pic unrelated. Ada siapa tengok Cinta Buta hari tu?)
The answer board was closed, but there are a lot of answers in it. Surprisingly everybody was advising her nicely rather than “OMG YOU JERK WAIT TILL IT HAPPENS TO YOU ******!!” (nasib baik takde mentaliti Meleis dalam website ni. Hahaha). Even more suprising half of the answers actually have good suggestions on how to dump him too! So technically there are two groups of answerers—the supporters and the opposers (bukan POSER ok).

The opposers (pembangkang), said....

-"if he’s a nice guy at least try to be friends. He compensates his size by being nice. (maksudnya orang badan besar perangai lebih baik)"

-"its very shallow to dump a guy because of that. if you liked him before you saw him you shouldn't break up with he for his looks. he could be a very nice person."

-"this is a very shallow thing to do. Even if you make other reasons for breakup he will still suspect it is because of his weight."

-"You must have liked him for who he was until you saw him. I do not think that is fair. You may find a trim male but what will he have to offer you from his heart? (aww sweet)"

-"if you tell him you dump him cuz he’s he’s overweight, he’ll have an eating disorder and you’ll ruin his life."
No, I'm doing just fine.
-"You should never tell a person you don't like them cause of their weight. You need to see their attitude, how they treat you as a friend."

-"Would you want someone telling you something like that. Now listen to this: I knew a guy in high school who had a handsome face, but he was really heavy. He was crazy about me and I just liked him as a friend. A couple of years after high school, I saw him again and he was FINE...!"

padan muke. sekarang die dah ada awek cun you. (form izyan.com)
The supporters:
Ok, before you rage in the comment section, read the supporters first. They do have good ideas)

-"Just tell him that you think he's really nice but you'd rather just be friends."

-"just tell him you don’t think it would work out between you, if he asks if it’s because he’s over weight, you can even lie or be nice and think of a different reason."

-"First of all, invite him over to dinner and talk it over on dinner. You could say that he's too nice for you. That always works for me."--btw avatar awek ni agak cun. em?

-"tell him it is because you have relationship and people issues."

Any way it is, there are some supporters who think that it’s the guy’s fault for not being honest. I mean, he gave a pic on the internet that shows face only (I suspect a Myspace angle pic here), and it turns out he is way different than what he looks in real life. In other words, she was cheated!
How.Dare.You.Lie.To.Me.
For me, I support her on leaving. No, don't tell me I hate fat guys. My last two relationship consists of people with BMI 25 and above. But to me, you gotta have two things in relationship: confidence, and honesty. confidence to step out in the world and flirt no matter how you look, and honest about how you look like and not hiding it.

So what do you think? Write down here.

38 ulasan:

TheBentPencil berkata...

"FIRSTTTTT!!!"
she said,
as she rolled down to the abyss....

Elena Reeney berkata...

kalau tak nak orang gemuk, jangan bercinta dengan orang gemuk. so takde lah jadi 'i dump you, you are fat!'.

maybe makwe/pakwe dulu sekering lidi sekali jadi segabak gajah, that person will dump la konon.

cehhhh.. baru gemuk, kalau patah kaki, lumpuh ke apa? nak tinggalkan cam tu je? lagi ah kalau kena simbah cuka getah.
semuanya ALASAN.

Tapi pada gua, tanya hati. mesti dah xnak, xkan nak paksa, ye dak?

Fatin Razali berkata...

orang gemok pon ada perasaan lah weyh.

haha. ayat tu je pon dah cukop nak menggambarkan apa yang patut dibuatkan.

and aku sendiri ada sedikit experience dalam hal ni, masa aku tengah gemok sikit, bf aku (kini ex-bf!) tak nak kuor dengan aku. kalau keluar pon dah tak macam couple.

but bagi aku, aku fikir dari sudut positif. as orang dalam bidang aku kononnya kena badan cantik, so itu dah datangkan motivation dalam diri aku nak kekalkan badan yang cantik.

arghh.
:|

AlexiaAqram berkata...

ibu saya kata, hati yang suciiiii, sukar di cariiii.

kalau orang gemuk ada hati suciiii, saya pun senannnggg hatiiii.

#jadah

TheBentPencil berkata...

@elena: tu la pasal isunya. dia chatting dengan budak ni. last2 bila date baru tahu gemuk. tapi pelik. hati yang awal2 suke tetibe jadi tak suke bila nampak laki tu gemuk. apa kes?

@fatin:semua orang ada perasaan. termasuk yang kurus kering apabila dikatakan sekeping papan flat yg huduh. haha. tapi, kejam jugak la ex-bf tu. maknanya selama ni dia tak tengok pada personaliti la? tengok takat rupe je. baik kahwin anak patung senggama jefri bolkiah je klu gitu.

@alexia: kalau yang gemuk tu adalah kucing putih berbulu lebat macam dalam iklan tersebut, saya suke. very suke.

afrohead berkata...

aku rasa berkawan sajalah. tanpa perlu ada apa-apa perasaan. lagipun dia baik.

Tanpa Nama berkata...

aku pon gemok jugak. slalu kene dump jugak. so, aku jadi tak bape nk puas ati sket la ngn minah yg kerek ni.
ko cantek sgt ker nk wat org centu?
hebat sgt ker?
klw satu hari ko plak gemok cane?
pnah tpikir?
antare lelaki2 yg dumped aku dlu pon bkn nye hensem pon.
stakat biase2 jer.
tapi nk demand awek muke macam artis.
minah ni plak, klw berangan nk pakwe macam artis2 ni. takpayah la cari kat chat room.
mmg ko takkan jmpe nyer.
kat chat room, klw nk cari kwn yg baik, bukan main susah lagi.
kebanyakan nye sume yg pervert jer.
dah ko jmpe sorg yg baik, ko pegi tinggalkan. mmg syg la.
try dtg balik chat room tu, sume org otak kuning je yg ade tau!
lagi satu la. kalo ko CANTEK sangat. tade nye ko nk cari teman kat chatroom....
i mean, klw cantek, mesti la ko tayah cari pon, org sebok dtg bg no kat ko kan.
ni tak. ko yg tehegeh2 cari kat chat room.
so, konklusi nye. ko pon TAK CANTEK mane pon kan.
so adil.
skarang ko wat die.
satu ari mesti ko kne balik.
bumi ni bulat beb.

TheBentPencil berkata...

@afro: entah. kalao orang baik apa salahnya kawan kan?

@anon: amboi marah na. kalaula forum tu open i'd be the first to send the link to you. RAGE!

saya agree part susah nak cari orang baik dalam chatroom. memang betul pun. and chances are orang yang kita terpikat tu langsung tak menepati fizikal yang kita sangka dia ada.

em, cerita pasal gemuk dan karma nih, teringat satu cerita kawan kpd kawan saya dulu, yang tak jadi tunang sebab keluarga tunang tak suka orang gemuk. so si lelaki pergi cari awek kurus untuk kahwin.

apa jadi pastu? eh, kena buat blog post baru la pas ni. panjang seh ceritanya.

khai berkata...

cinta boleh dipupuk. cinta juga buleh dipinpim. kalau gemok minum la jusmate, kita mengkayakan lagi dr rozmey.

bujal X berkata...

saya gemuk dan saya bertuah dapat seorang isteri dan berjaya dapat seorang anak buat masa ini.

sial perempuan itu.dia tidak tahu lelaki gemuk kebanyakannya kaya dan hebat di atas ranjang seperti saya!

Naqib Mohamad berkata...

mata tetap menjadi hakim pertama. dan atitude si dia jadi hakim ke dua. kalau berkenan di 'mata' maka nak berkenan di hati tu senang. kalau tengok gemok or selekeh mesti most gegirls tak nak kenal pun. #fact kalau jodoh tu, tak kemana. ade je org bercinta dengan orang gemok

C@Rr0tSu$U berkata...

ni KOMEN lari dari tajuk.. hu hu..
Aku penah kawan someone gune talipon... tak tau die cane.. mase kawan die selalu ckp kalau jumpe die mesti tak mau die dah... aku plak konfiden jawab.. tak lah..
Bile jumpe.. alamak.. die kecik giler.. comey memang comey.. tapi... kecik ngat...
Disebabkan dah termakan ngan kate2 sendiri.. kesian plak tu.. kapel gak ngan die..
erk...
he he.. tapi kawen ngan orang laen dah sekarang.. :)

alin berkata...

kalau die jujur, jelas2 letak gambar dia yg betul2 mase kenal dulu xdelah sampai nak kene dump . kan.. perempuan boleh je terima laki gemuk yg hati baik. tp dah nampak dah xde kejujuran disitu. camne nak teruskan relationship kalau kejujuran pon xde. :|

rossoneri berkata...

mmg betul salah laki tuh sbb tak jujur awal2..dan minah tu kalau xnak ngan laki tu,jgn sesekali bagi alasan sbb dia overweight..try cakap elok2...

Artoone berkata...

lets think, kalau dia anto gamba gemuk yg original, then pompuan tu xbekenan dan ckp lets stay fren, tentu dia x kena dump. dan dia xrugi apa pun sebab lepas tu, dia boleh move on dgn kenal pompuan lain yg boleh terima dia seadanya...

pernah dengar chubby chaser? keh3... mungkin dia xpenah dgr kot...sbb tu x confident bg gamba gemuk dia...

entah-entah pompuan tu yg rugi, kot2 mamat gemok ni kaya giler...

oke, gua rasa komen gua lari tajuk =p chow!

Hellioz berkata...

gwa tak gemok.
sekian~

kah3~

Husky n Pusky berkata...

gwa gemok.

kesian.

shait.

spicy berkata...

nk share my story cket ehh...
dulu sy pn gemuk...mmg overweight lah...confident level toksah ckplah,mmg low selow2 nye...then ade hati plak kt org yg hensem...skali org yg hensem tu sakitkan hati sy...mmg frust lah,sbb dia my 1st love tp kitorg xpnh jd couple pn...2 yrs later,i jmpa dia...then dia minta maaf sbb slalu skitkan hati sy dlu cz br dia fhm cmne prasaan bila ada org skitkan hati dia...time dia skit hati tu,dia t'ingt kt sy sbb br dia fhm pe prasaan sy time dia skitkan dlu...skrg ni sy dh kurus siiiiket,& mmg sgt2 berbeza lah cara org pndg sy time sy gemuk & kurus...

in diz case,bg sy lah kdg2 kta kena jual ikan (sellfish..=D) sbb kalo nk jga prasaan org lain jek,sape plak nk jga prasaan kta ni...but at da same time,pmpn tu kena ingt,wat comes around goes around...mgkin fizikal dia x perfect,but there must be sumting bout dat guy yg pnh wat dia happy...even small things...tp kalo dh btol2 xbleh nk pupuk cket pn prasaan kt laki gemuk tu,plzz dump him in a good way...

tira azhar berkata...

@spicy

sebenarnya.. perasaan kita je tu ttg perbezaan org treat kita time kita gemok n kurus.

i am an overweight person, but i'm not obese and i'm happy. i still flirt confidently, eat within the portion and still looks good no matter what.

saya pernah gemok dan saya pernah kurus. layanan orang terhadap saya sama saja :)

sekiann~~~ :D

tira azhar berkata...

komen tentang cerita ini: jangan percaya cinta siber. :) hahaha

Fieona Sky berkata...

HOMAIGOD =.=
So not fair ! Even if he's fat, he's still human. And, human have feelings and they have hearts too ! Maybe the girl is just insecure. Cause if she dated the guy, ape kate org pulak kan ?


Ni la manusia, tak pernah nak bukak mata and see what's in the inside. Selalu judge berdasarkan rupe. Kalau the girl ended up dating lelaki yg taff lg macho tak semestiya lelaki tu setia cause ramai lg perempuan cantik kat luar sane.


Saye takmo komen lebih2 cause saye org mude and pengalaman tak cukup. Sigh ~ I'm just saying ape yg saye tau. Peace out :3

Kilalaa Zainuddin berkata...

alaaa, tak semua gemok hodoh kan? kawan i gemok tapi cantik so tak salah kalau bercinta dgn org gemok cuma masing2 punya hati lah nak jaga status sgt

bukan penggoda berkata...

nak kurus plis?

eh, org gemuk sedap peluk la. kbai.

AlexiaAqram berkata...

gua kurus.

tapi gua nak gemuk.

ah saitan sungguh time2 ni lah semua nak puji org gemuk. wa de hekk?

MATAHARI berkata...

wow. haha. kalau betul cinta iklas, sudah. haha. kalau tak, lari cepat sebelum melarat lebih baik kang ungkit benda yang sama.

tiah91 berkata...

honesty and confidence.
cayalah.
haha

TheBentPencil berkata...

time kaceh atas pandangan anda. seronok tgk ramai yang tak anti-gemuk di sini!

@khai: I think ppl like Rozmey use these types of insecurity and dobule standard to make his product sell. berat turun hotness naik?

@bujalx: no komen because I cannot imagine how.

@spicy: adekah dia mintak maaf ikhlas atau nak ngorat balik sebab dah kurus? #justsaying

@husky: gemuk is cute. teach @hellioz how to fatten up. kahkahkah

@bukan penggoda: beli teddybear pastu sumbat lagi sekilo kapas kat dalam.

@Alexia: kesian orang kurus seperti kita-eh, anda.

@tira azhar: kalau kita happy dan optimis seluruh dunia pun nampak indah #fakta

Alia berkata...

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

Ada orang suka gemok, ada orang suka kurus.

Tapi personally, I think lebih baik kita bagitau awal awal kat dia yang we have no other intentions apart from being friends (regardless of whatever reason, dia gemok ke, hodoh ke). Lagi awal dia tau, lagi senang dia nak lupakan.

Jangan la separuh jalan bercintan cintun, then finally decide tanak be together because "s/he is too fat"

Guess I am lucky lah ada orang suka kat saya walaupon saya gemok dan hitam ini. <3

Breakeven berkata...

~ im in love with someone yg kalau berdiri atas penimbang biasa tu..jarum dia akan berhenti berpusing...kakakakaka..but..i still love him...so ..what`s wrong with that?

.F.e.Q.a.H. berkata...

gemuk tu comel...kui3...
ala...
org gemuk pun ade perasaan jugk...
sian dyer klw kena dump sbb gemuk...
lgpun alasan tu xmunasabah langsung la...

Tanpa Nama berkata...

orang gemuk ni baik!!cos ak ade bf yg mmg gemuk tp penyayang,baik hati, memahami..
ktorang dah kapel 5 tahun..:)
berkawan aje lah..
kalo da x suke sgt tu reject cara baik..
myb laki tu letak pic muke je sbb die low self esteem kot..

azhar shoib berkata...

aku suka awek gemok2 skit (berisi skit)..xsuka kurus2..mcm kate bro bkn penggoda, sdap peluk..hahaha..lg satu awek gemok2 skit ni xde org nk usha (kot)..tp ak dua kali awek kna kebas..sedih~

Wid Skyline berkata...

thumbs up!

Tanpa Nama berkata...

gua dlu kurus skank da gemok..huahuahua....apa ada hal..

Tanpa Nama berkata...

dlu sy ada bf,.. dia chubby,..n cute sgt..love him so much the way he is,.hehe..slalu kalau ajak jumpa, dia akn ckp, sy x malu ke jln dgn dia,.. tak malu ke kuar ngn dia,..huhuhu,.. for me he always appear fine in my eyes.,..he always made my day ..:) tp ktorng tak lama pun.. kapel for almost 3 months je...ktorng break up sbb he dump me.. after he dump he he keep saying that i can get better person than him..lpas da break tu ktorng still kawan, sbb he told me to never dump him from my life..dia nk ktorng kekal jd kawan...huhu sedey woo....:'( to think that me n him only fren mmg sedih sgt.. sy still sayang dia sampai sekarang,.



-CintaHatIDieDlu-

Tanpa Nama berkata...

aku rasa laki tu tak salah pon. salahkan lelaki tu sbb tak tunjuk gamba sebenar/sape dia yg sebnar tu sangat2 salah. kenapa nak salahkan dia? aku rasa org salahkan dia tu just sebab mereka tu tak pernah faham perasaan orang gemuk! korang tak faham! cuba anda ada kat tempat dia. aku nak tanya berapa ramai yang berani mati/ada keyakinan yang tinggi nak tunjuk gamba satu badan as profile pic atau dalam album? sape sape? aku jamin la 98 percent takkan berani buat punya. korang thu sebab ape? sebab dia tahu tak de sape nak fren, approve, folo o twit dia bile nmpk fizikal sebenar dia. kamon la. dia pon nak berkawan jugak! kalo orang awal2 tengok profile pic dia (contohnya) pon nak muntah/menyampah sebab tengok saiz dia, konpem2 la tak de spe yg berani nk approve/fren/folo/twit dia kan? so bila nye dia nk dapat kawan. tak salah pon dia tak nak tunjuk diri sebenar. tak payah la sampai nak layan orang tu mcm tu. gurl tu engat dia hot sgt ke? dia engat dia tu perfect sangat. aku pelik gak la kenapa sampai dia percaya org yg dia tak kenal n sampai snggup jumpa. wat the fish? motif nak jumpa? ko tahu ko girl kan? aku rasa kalo setakat kenal someone stranger kt laman sosial, cukup kot kenal gitu2 je. atas alasan ape pon, tak payah kot sampai nak jumpa depan2. dia tak kenal laki tu kan? asal berani mati nk jumpa2 ni? asal, dia nak carik jodoh ke? tak de orang yang dia kenal yg suka kat dia? ke dia engat laki tu rupanya putera raja yg menyamar? LOL. kenapa dia tak pkey dari awal lagi effect bila dia jumpa laki tu? kenapa tak tanya diri, patut ke dia jumpa laki? kenapa tak tanya diri sama ada dia akan terima apa jua keadaan laki tu bila jumpa depan2 nanti? sekarang bila dah jumpa depan2 tahu pulak girl tu nak terkezut beruk. padan muka! sape suruh dia berani mati. even laki tu yg ajak jumpa pon, dia patut dan berhak tolak. tak de la nanti dia sampai terpkey nk buat benda bodoh macam ni. kamon la. dia tu girl ok? GIRL! malu sikit pada diri. dalam ape jua keadan, dia patut amek langkah selamat. sekarang dia nak rasa dia ditipu laki tu? sape suruh dia bertindak bodoh dengan benarkan orang tipu dia? sape suruh dia berani sangat nak jumpa laki tu? walau niat girl tu nak berkawan o couple dengan laki tu lepas jumpa, bukan ke lagi baik girl tu observe dulu laki tu untuk satu tempoh yang lama, kenal diri laki tu yg sebenar2 nya n baru la girl tu patut nekad dan ikhlas utk jumpa laki tu. lepas tu kalo dh tahu laki tu tak sesuai dengan dia, girl tu boleh jauhkan diri dengan laki tu sikit demi sedikit/sibukkan diri. bukan buang laki tu terus macam sampah! at least laki tu tak kecewa/rasa terhina n girl tu tak 'teripu' kan? so mmg ko (girl tu) sangat desperate n sebenarnya hodoh muka dan sikap. sebab tu terdesak sangat nak jumpa. laki tu pulak, kalo ko yg ajak girl tu kluar, ko pon patut siapkan diri awal2 n pkey dulu sebelum berani mati nk ajak girl tu kluar. tapi still totally salah girl tu kan? =)

Tanpa Nama berkata...

@Tanpa Nama

"lepas tu kalo dh tahu laki tu tak sesuai dengan dia, girl tu boleh jauhkan diri dengan laki tu sikit demi sedikit/sibukkan diri" ,

maksudnya girl tu boleh jauhkan diri dari laki tu skit2 kat alam maya lagi sebelum jumpa laki tu depan2. so dia tahu keadaan sebenar laki tu waktu dia tengah observe laki tu kat alam maya. so dia tak akn rasa tertipi/ditipu n ada perasaan utk dump laki tu bila dah. betul tak? ambil langkah selamat. baru boleh jadi wise player. tak de sape terluka/tertipu. baru la win-win situation =)

Tanpa Nama berkata...

gemuk itu cantik...seriusssss....