11 Mei 2011

Your Center of the Universe


"She is those kind of women that thinks her man is the center of the universe."

My pal said, has he sips on his glass of teh tarik. Like always. the one we aptly nicknamed "young Hamka" blurts out something slightly cryptic. My friend and I were puzzled, and asked him to explain.

"Some women," he said, "Will easily diss a friend for the favor of her significant other; even for the littlest, absurd things."

We nodded. True, he was pretty bummed about a couple of our classmates who suddenly disapperared from his friend list, supposedly from fear of jealousy from the boyfriend. (Well, actually I was removed as well, but I'm not as bothered about my Facebook 'life' as he is LOL).

True again, we had some gal-pals who'd delete her profile or would suddenly go on an emo-shouting spree once they had a fallout with their boyfriend, or those who purposely ignore and old classmate because they fear of their boyfriend's jealousy, or who'd flip and break a relationship once we make "a little too honest" advice about her relationship. And I bet we all have been through suddenly being ignored and "lost contact" with our pals who suddenly gives an excuse everytime we ask to hang out (and the excuse is usually "i'm going somewhere with him heheheheh<3"). It's like we were disposable blow-up dolls; and only useful when they are single or lonely. (oh wow what an example)

You broke your friends apart when you leave them. To have them back, just reassemble. 
Personally even I am perplexed by this. And I am more than saddened when a good friend had to walk away because some significant other walks into their life. And after they became single again and walks into our life--it's pretty hard to accept them back after all that.

Honestly, I'd get nuked out for writing this too, as I bet some of the pals I (and we) dissed would be reading this. But all I'd like to say is


"Lovers come and go, but real friends stay forever."

Sure, you say "he might just be The One Mr Right" and all that, but what if it isn't? (Okay I see you sharpening that chainsaw, put it down). Really girl, WHAT IF IT ISNT? Realistically we don't know who our soulmate is, he might be who you are with, maybe; but he might also be someone else. I'm sure you've been with guys whom you think is "the one" and suddenly months along the way the love disappears. And you fell in love with another. And you fell out of love. And you fell in love with another. And you fell out of love. And you fell in love with another. And you fell out of love (I'm just copypasting those sentences 3 times, you see).

Fell in and out of love is a cycle. But friends are easier. As long as you don't make major flip-ups, they stay with you through and through. You can count on them to help you out when you're down, and to accept all your shortcomings and multiple personalities (ahem). And rest assured, even if you get married someday, they will offer a comfort side for you and make that marriage less of a 'culture shock' (but you gotta keep the distance a bit now, of course).

But do not ever do drastic things like removing your friends. EVER. Even if they are really lonely.

I know it feels a bit hard to balance between the needs of your pals and significant other. But talk to your lover and assure them that you and your pals meant no harm to the relationship, and that if he/she trusts you he/she will put a bit of a space for you. You guys need to remember that attaching oneself; putting your heart on someone else isn't a good thing, even for in marriage. And what more for a couples relationship? Your not even legally bind! (dalam kata lain, tidak halal). So why excluding yourself from the rest of the world, because of a relationship that may or may not be halal in the end anyway? 

And to us, the foreveralone.jpeg friends who had been dissed by the pal, I can offer you two solution:

1) To talk with them about it. As in talk, not shout and go on an emo spree. Sometimes these girls (and sometimes boys) do not realise that they have been ignoring their friends; they might be too lovestruck to see. Tell them about the old days, they might even miss chasing the discount Parkson sales or forget how DOTA loading screen looks like. Chances are they might be snapped out of that angau disease and hang out with you again.

2) Get to know their significant other. In some cases that I've been through, it works wonders. Sometimes even their significant other talk to me about stuff because I was trusted enough. Once you and that girl/guy become good friends, it feels less of a tug-of-war to get your pal's attention. They may even invite you to a group event rather than date just the two of them. But it's always a good idea not to get too close, there is still restriction especially when gender is different; just think of them as an extended friends group. 

p.s. And to my milk-tea-and-roti-canai-session pals--rest assured once I fall in love, I won't leave you guys. Sure I might have lesser time to go on a group mamak philosophy session, but I'd still go when I have the time. But if I do diss you guys anyway, feel free to come and give me a FALCONNNN PUNCCCHHH DESUUUU

seriously.

pictures from hereand here. and the other is self-made.

19 ulasan:

Wadi AR ツ berkata...

macam macaron pon ade

Elena Reeney berkata...

okay, strongly agreed!!

TheBentPencil berkata...

macam macaron? adekah itu sejenis kuih? *inesen

cahaya eyena berkata...

hai,,,erm saya berminat dengan entry ni, tp saya lemah bi.
so,boleh x awk translate cerit nie dlam malay..sy xfaham nie cerita tntg ape ea??please ya

cahaya eyena berkata...

*cerita

TheBentPencil berkata...

Entri ni pasal ppuan yang menanggap lelaki ni dunia diorg. asal ada boyfriend je, semua kawan lain kena tinggal. padahal kata orang kawan tu sampai ke mati seharusnya.

tambah pulak, boyfriend ni bukan hubungan yang halal pun. nak korbankan persahabatan, sangatlah tak berbaloi.

lagi2 boyfriend/kekasih tu semua, belum tentu jadi milik kita selamanya. kalau kita ditinggalkan dia satu hari nanti, siapa kita nak cari untuk jadi teman bersedih? kawan jugak.

oleh itu janganlah sekali-kali buang kawan kalau dah ada kekasih. kalau kekasih cemburu, cuba terangkan pada dia. kalau terlalu cemburu, tak berbaloilah ada kekasih macam itu.

sekian.



Patutlah x ramai org komen.. x ramai faham rupanya. *tepuk dahi

Tanpa Nama berkata...

if you have friends like this, then she/he is not a true friend.

or they don't know the true meaning of friendship.

or they're befriended you for all the wrong reasons.

so don't miss them.

Aslina berkata...

i do NEED my friends each time i fall in love.

i think they're the best judge to give opinion about my choice.

tapi tu lah... selalunya ex aku dump aku sebab tercabar kawan2 aku semua lebih kacak dari beliau.

aku tak ske nak tinggalkan kawan2 yang same2 da harung suka duka dan kenal aku lebih lama berbanding ex dan bakal bf aku yang tah mane2 je buat aku melting jatuh chenta tiba2...

so aku letak syarat, sebagai bf yang takde apape ikatan lagi, patut bleh terima kengkawan aku dan aku bleh terima kengkawan dia dan both of us mesti kena ada masa untuk kawan2. kalo takleh, bleh blah. haha...

sebab tu selalu clash kot. huhu.

cahaya eyena berkata...

thx ya,,,dah fhm,,tp lg fhm cerita tu wat malay...neway thx...




*ha ah,,tu la pasal pelik xramai org yg komen....weird..weird....:)

Cinderella Rapunzel berkata...

"Lovers come and go, but real friends stay forever."

Best quote evah! Pinjam sat, nak taruk kat status mukabuku.

Siti Mashitah Saidin berkata...

biasanya belaku pd pompuan.. =,=

AlexiaAqram berkata...

i'm strongly recommend all terfaktab author to write in english for better purpose in english education.

so, bent. keep it up!

and to all terfaktab lovers, our plan is clear. learning is fun.

regards,
AA

3F@unsp0ken berkata...

I've always heard about this blog but never came here until a friend of mine posted the link to this entry [don't ask me why:].

And OMK (Oh Mak Kau!) This is a great masterpiece I'd say!
Congrats n my best wishes go to the author! *standing ovation* clap-clap-clap

I rather not to write further for m afraid my comment itself gonna be an entry rather than a comment merely. LOL

p/s: keep up the good works! n hell yeah I like "foreveralone.jpeg friends"! ;D

nur athirah bazilah berkata...

fatin:aku dah baca ape ko komen!hahaha

3F@unsp0ken berkata...

dengggg!!! shhh shadap uuuu nur athirah bazilah!
oh wait, hv u been refreshing this blog for the last few minutes?? ROFL!
dey... sini bukan tmpt chatting. jom sambung kt tmpat lain. lol

nur athirah bazilah berkata...

3f:please leave ur comments.hehe..
to the blogger,im sure u'v had this experienced this in ur life rite?but sometimes,people are blinded with love..they cant see what people say..bcoz people are stupid when it comes to love..rite?

Cinderella Rapunzel berkata...

I've read in one of Garfield comic strip, saying...

"Love is blind..and stupid"

p/s: I second AA's motion!

(^^)v

cikjuliet berkata...

been there. had gone through stages like that, cant definitely says why it happened but after all, the main point here is "jealousy". and if that so, why not u buy a cage and put your boyfriend in it, so that theres no other can take it from you. lol.

but anyway, mine is the other way around la. almost my cases, the boyfie is my friend and the girl yg suruh the boyfie remove me out from the frens list. hey, im not even have a single talk with them. dan ada juga yg dah pernah jumpa but stilllll nak jeles tak tentu pasal. whatthe kan? and ada jugak yg my frens tu PM me saying sorry bla3 sebab terpaksa buat mcm tu, kalau tak nt gado. WHATTHE mannnnnn? and to all the girlfriends, get a life lahhhhhhhh! pathetic wey life korang.


*oke, emo* HAHAH!

azhar shoib berkata...

aku paling suka psal lupa loading skrin DOTA...lol..bent pencil maen dota gak??jom garena sepam dua..ahaha..

btw, ak plg x suka kalo kwn tggl kwn psal awek/bf..bg ak, nk kwn 2 kwn je la..itu ltaknya trusting each other..mne tau, dgn kwn kita lbih kuat hubungan..jd spy ke (STRONGLY NOT RECOMMENDED)..mcm ak dlu, mmbr pmpn ak sorg 2 gshoping smata2 nk belikn bf dia baju melayu utk raya, dsbbkn dia xtau nk beli baju melayu cmne utk llaki..so, ak tlg la lgpn ak pn ade kat shoping 2 ngan mmbr2 laen..tp punya sengal bf dia time 2(skang da kawen ngan org laen, bf lama dia saiko), leh lak dia mara awek dia 2 sbb kua ngan ak..punya la x mghargai pengorbanan sorg wanita dak ex dia 2..hahaha~