An open letter to my future daughter.

If I ever get married one day *cough,cough*, and have a daughter, I will pick a night with her and talk about love and life.  On that night I shall buy her a scarf, sit by her bedside and tell her this.

“My dear daughter, here is a scarf; wear it.

Now I know you are going to cringe and sulk right now, and you are going to ask why. And you are going to expect me to lecture you about the justification from AnNur word by word, noun by noun. But no, I’m not going to do that. You can pick the Book later, anytime, and read it anywhere. But I will tell you this—wear it because you want to, not because you need to.  

My dear daughter,

At one point in your life, you will see your friends in latest trends and fashion. You will see the popular and the pretty, always in their full-faced makeup, tiniest dresses, and colorful tresses. How  they are admired and seemingly loved by many, and you are tempted to follow them.

Don’t.

Wear normal, simple clothes. Dress to cover, not to attract. Use minimal makeup, or none at all if you're still in school. Don’t buy a brand because of its popularity, or to make yourself proud, but buy it because you need to, because of its quality.

Now you may not get hoardes of admirers by being plain, and you may spend many years loveless and lonely. But don’t fret—those who come to you either bearing friendship or courtship—will be the more precious than diamonds and gold. These are the people who see through all the plain clothes, the long scarves, and the unpainted face—and they see you, the real you.

And one more reason to be plain and unpretty that i need to tell you—it is the secret of persona. If you spent your years breezing through the society--who worships your every word and fulfills your every whim—you will never learn how to build character. You will never learn how to be funny, or smart or talkative to impress people you don’t like, or how to be delegating to navigate difficult people, or how to keep strong when people turn you down; because everybody will always bow down to you.

My dear, remember,

Do not feel afraid to go against the flow. If others are promiscuous, let it pass. If others smoke, let it pass. If others drink, let it pass. Don’t go their way just to be accepted. For being a mindless human is worse than being a lemming following its leader jumping off a cliff. Be who you really are inside, let your personality show, be classy not sexy, be polite but firm. Be friends with everyone, no matter how different they might seem.

And while others couple or engaged or married along the way and you are still single—remember—that God save the best for the last. The truth is nobody is ever alone in this universe. Maybe he is a friend you know, maybe he is not ready because of certain circumstances, maybe his proposal is just around the corner and he’s waiting for the right moment! Sometimes it’s better to wait it out and let the relationship grow than just rush in greedily and regret it later. I do believe the easier they claim of love, the easier it goes away. The hardest one to say love, is the one whom love is the strongest.  It’s like a boulder on the side of the road—the bigger they are, the harder to push.

My dear,

Remember that in the end, it’s the journey that matters, not the finish line. I know things like money, popularity, and puppy love seem important now, but believe me, many years later you will see that it’s just an insignificant bump on the path of life. Money will diminish, clothes will go out of style, popularity will wane, friendships and love comes and goes. Don’t lose who you really are—because when all the existential is gone, only what’s inside that will keep you living.

Sincerely,

Your (future) mom